Mike Brown and the Breaking Point of the Nation or Dammit, I'm Sick of this!

Hey folks! I am finally back and in a new demographic. I recently turned 30! Start sending me aspercreme and Cialis for daily use(j/k I dont have issues down there...and hope I never will.) But anyway, We have got more pressing matters.

This past weekend, a young man by the name of Mike Brown, a young man minding his own business was killed in Ferguson, Missouri, a suburb of St Louis. While there are currently conflicting reports on what really happened, the outcome is similar to so many; A young, unarmed, black man is gunned down for no other solid reason than they "looked" threatening. Ferguson is up in arms, sparking massive protests in the small, predominantly Black, low income neighborhood. Some of the protests, against the heed of Mike Brown's parents, lead to riots.

Not since the shooting of Oscar Grant at Fruitvale Station has there been such a volatile response to this, one of many police killings of unarmed black people. As I type this, the Ferguson PD has completely militarized, closing off the city to outside citizens, notably the media as the mostly peaceful protests go on for the third day. While most have been peaceful, the media has followed the narrative and showed the rioting by some, looting several businesses and buring down a local QuikTrip(a convenience store  As these peaceful protests go on, many have been attack with crowd controlling agent, such as rubber bullets and tear gas and the entire city has been classified a no-fly zone by the FAA. Many on these tactics have been done in the name of safety, but many see it as a way to cover up what is truly going on in the city. In the midst of this, the "hacktivist" group Anonymus has promised to attack the City of Ferguson's web based services, going so far as to shutting the city's website late Sunday:

Not to be hyperbolic, but I honestly have never seen this before in my life. An American city is shut down, its citizens up in arms and images beam into our homes reminiscent of the Civil Rights protests of the 1960s. To be honest, it's long overdue...

Let me first say that I DO NOT advocate violence of any kind and the damage and rioting done by some of the citizen is past wrong. I do however understand the frustration of the citizens of Ferguson. According to the US Census and the Missouri attorney general's office,  Ferguson's population is 63% black, yet the number of stops, pull overs, and arrests of  Black people in Ferguson is 86%. Also keep in mind that the FPD is 94% white. Tensions have been boiling over in the area for a while and this was the final straw, not just for them, but for a lot of us as well.

To say that i'm sick of this would be the understatement of a lifetime.I am so fucking sick of this its ridiculous. I am tired of these damn shootings and the aftermath that they bring about. You remember the narrative; an unarmed young black person is gunned down and all hell breaks loose. There is angry people, numerous social media posts(sometimes going so far as showing the corpse of the victim,) moments of silence, wearing colors in solidarity, articles about the "dangers of just being black in America" (or AmeriKKKa as many have put it,) Right wing whack jobs(or Don Lemon) lamenting that its what the person wore or how the child spoke that was the reason for his grisly demise and predicting that the Negroes are gonna riot, and certain instructional videos on how to truly deal with the police, or a crazy trigger happy white person who is just itching for a chance to stand their ground. Hell its gotten so bad that most of us now gloss over it. "The police shot an unarmed black teen? Must be Tuesday!" What even more sickening is the way the victim is blamed, degraded, and insulted with no way to defend themselves

#iftheygunnedmedown This is Lexi. She (like myself) is an alum of Dillard University, a musician, and  all around goofy person. She, like many on social media, posed a question; If she was gunned down tomorrow, what picture would the media use? the college grad or the party girl? Many times it'll be Sister Patron over there. But it also poses another question: Does my life matter whether I am a party girl or a college grad?

I sit here looking at this holding my head and asking myself why. Why do we as Black Americans have to consistently go through this? Why am I once again seeing parents in pain and a community torn apart? Why must I have to remember to not wear certain clothes, keep my hands totally visible at all times, and speak in calm tones at all times, because venturing outside of these perameters makes me a target? Why are literally all my black male friends been pulled over at least once? Why are my feelings of hurt & degradation negated by telling me the statistics of Black on Black crime in Chicago? Why are we the only ones that are in the wrong? Why is Mike Brown in the morgue and not in class? Why are police firing tear gas at peaceful protesters?!

I come to you tonight standing with the people of Ferguson. Stay and peacefully protest against injustice. Stay strong, and know that so many stand with you. I can honestly say, I have never seen something in my 30 years on this earth, but if this means that a change will finally come about, so be it. Rest in peace to Mike Brown, Ezell Ford and anyone lost due to grave injustice.

Thanx for letttin me vent


Lawrence J Weber, Jr
"The Arrogant Observer"

Throwback Thursday Post: My personal view on religion AKA Thank You Grilled Chessus!

Disclaimer: I wrote this in 2010, back when I was still into Glee(RIP to Cory Montieth.) I was exploring my beliefs and  I still think that my own spiritual pratfalls are very relevant. I now loosely define myself as an agnostic, but I feel that this can still help someone on their way(if someone actually listens lol)

“I don’t believe in God.”

The words kinda hit you in the face, don’t they?

Yes, the eternal question of religion. From atheism to finding the shape of Jesus Christ on a grilled cheese sandwich and aptly naming it “Grilled Cheesus,” America and the world as a whole have questioned this part of daily life. The previous is from a current episode of the Fox Musical-dramedy Glee, also named the aforementioned goofy word combination. This episode diverts from its normal fun fest of musical numbers and horny teens to go deeper and explore the characters spirituality and they didn’t disappoint. You see, they live in a world of universal acceptance, where they respect each other’s personal beliefs. Where even the two atheists non-beliefs were respected as “to each his own.” Where else will see this universal belief. Being raised in the south, it almost seemed like the sole mention of non belief in God almost led to sheer bedlam and the flinging of holy water. It seems like that has given way to more religious browbeating.

Let me be clear, I am NOT an atheist. Honestly, that would be easier than what I have endured for quite a while. My relationship with religion is long and difficult. I was raised Catholic: First Communion, Confirmation, Rosaries, candles, novenas(I could go on, but this blog is long enough.) At the tender age of 13, while preparing for my Confirmation, I knew I didn’t want to be a Catholic anymore. To admonish the class for not going to church, my religion teacher told us the story of the crucifixion of Jesus. Now I’ve heard the story of Jesus’ death before, but NEVER like the way she had told it and never that way again. Her story was dark, graphic and gruesome. She told it explicit detail, clanging two rusty railroad spikes together to symbolize Jesus being nailed to the cross. She ended the story telling us that every time that we didn’t go to church, we jammed the nails deeper into Jesus. Needless to say, she scared the bejeezus out of the class and I never saw the Catholic church the same again. Shortly after, my family got involved in what I now believe was a cult. Though Christian and almost Baptist in tone(Catching the Holy Ghost, Bible study, etc,) as time went on, the “Elders” got more controlling and wanted to know every bit of our lives, tried to persuade us to sell our house and move closer to the church, and wanted us to cut off anyone and anything that was of “the world.” Meaning no music that wasn’t sung at the church, no friends that weren’t saved, and no contact with family that wasn’t saved, stating that contact with them would endanger your very soul. We stayed in the church for a little over 2 years and one day we stopped going. I didn’t ask why we stopped, I hated every minute of it. I believe my parents stopped and took a look at what was really going on.

Shortly after Katrina, I began to explore other religions, Buddhism, Judaism, I even researched Wicca (though that movie The Craft gets a few things right, it is nothing like you would think, it’s a worship of nature.) Finally tired, I just stopped. I stopped looking for a label and looked to my relationship with God. I remember the talks I’d have with him as a kid, the comforting thought that no matter where I’d go, I would never be truly alone. And I knew.

Fast forward to the present day. If you were to ask me what is my religion, you really couldn’t get a one word answer. I believe in God in the Christian sense, but I don’t believe in religion. According to wikipedia, that makes me a cross between a Theist, a Christian, and a Deist. I learned that what I believe cannot be singularly labeled. I still have my talks with God. I ask him for understanding for not only myself but for so many others.

At the end of the episode, the cast joined to sing Joan Osboure’s One of Us. The song touched me in that moment. I ended up getting the full song and while listening it moved me to tears at the sheer beauty of the concept and performance. Even now, while writing this blog, I am listening to the song and getting a little teary. Earlier I posted a tweet quoting the song “What if God was one of us?” I believe he is. A little bit of God is in each of us. His unconditional love, His understanding, His forgiveness. My  beliefs are based on the fact that there is God in us all.

“What if God was one of us?”

He was. He is. He always will be…

Thanx 4 lettin me vent,

Lawrence J. Weber, Jr